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Anecdo, Anecdon't
















I look down from on high
A species differentiated
Nourished, yet unrooted
Autonomous instead of attached.
I wring droplets from dry air
Extracting something from nothing.

Inherently disparate: “Air Plant”.
Contradiction within identity,
Developing dissonance of the dubbed.
Lacking stability, free floating 
A gentle breeze snarls my limbs
Longing for the conventions of soil.

Maybe basic is better
Tradition is rooted, not rote. 
Misplaced piousness,
Is not an improvement.
Head in the clouds

Must keep my feet in the ground. 

Edited: 2/19

Comments

  1. Professor MillerFebruary 15, 2020 at 5:12 PM

    So this is a fun little poem. I too am fascinated by air plants and their incongruous existence, suspended in air where a plant belongs on the ground. They are fascinating, and they make a good subject for a controlling metaphor poem.

    I like a lot of this. The poem at its best is witty and inventive. It shows your natural intelligence improvising with a simple theme and idea--comparing the odd air plant to a mentality that is "above it all" with one's "head in the clouds." Since this is so clear, I think the poem will benefit not from adding and specifying meaning but rather from trimming and enhancing the with and vividness where possible.

    My favorite line is "Tradition is rooted, not rote." That a clever little homemade aphorism, and the pun between root and rote is witty and the message wise: tradition shows groundedness, but it does not have to be boring and routine. It's a strong moment in the poem that you can use as a model to try to lift up some of the rest.

    In the first stanza this line contradicts what follows: "Uprooted rather than nourished." Lines 4 and 5 of the same stanza contradict that statement by describing how the air plant is in fact nourished. Perhaps simply "Nourished but uprooted" would be better since it does not contradict the botanical reality of the plant or your words a few lines down. Or maybe something else that adjusts to this issue.

    Lines 2 and 3 of stanza two seem a bit abstract compared to the rest. A little abstraction is OK and sometimes necessary. Maybe keep one of these and try to make the other more descriptive?

    What would a plant look like that was "longing for the conventions of the soil"? Would it's roots reach down the way stems reach up for light? Can we see the crux of the metaphor in a physical gesture?

    Anyway, good draft and enjoyable little poem.

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  2. Honey RogoffFebruary 17, 2020 at 9:11 AM

    This poem has an interesting sense of being unstable. Everything can make sense simply because that is how it exists. An Air Plant does exist, it does live, but it doesn't make much sense when you think about it more. I like how the poem makes me think about personal "grounding" in the world. Are we just existing or are we rooted in the world? The speaker doesn't want to be up in the air, they want to have their "feet in the ground". The elusiveness lends itself to readers' interpretations. Is it more about a person or the plant? I think it is left up to each individual.

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  3. Efrat MalachiFebruary 19, 2020 at 2:55 AM

    What's great about this poem is that it gives just enough information while withholding some for the reader to decipher what's going on in the metaphor and how to interpret it. It's overall theme is very relatable in terms of feeling internally conflicted with one's identity and wanting to be independent but still attached to something like a community or family. And the voice sounds honest when it says "maybe basic is better", making me believe the author or plant's view. At certain points, though, it feels like it jumps a bit from many different descriptions. Maybe dive in deep with a small number of them?

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